I am a coach. I am a former coach’s kid.
I have also been coached by someone other than my parent.
Let me tell you, out of all three of those scenarios- being the coach’s kid is the hardest.
I have been coaching Brody in mulitple sports since he has been able to join organized sports. Luckily we have an amazing team this season and I couldn’t have asked for a better set of parents. I have coached his soccer team and have been assistant coach for his baseball team. I can confidently say that the coaches are hardest on their own kids.
I know what some of you are thinking, and please, before you think like this again, take the time to read this. The coach’s child is not the favorite. The coach’s child does not get preferential treatment. The coach’s kid does not get the most playing time because their parent is the coach. None of these are accurate, in fact, the opposite is more likely true.
I absolutely understand their will always be an exception to the rules, but as a coach let me tell you what is going through my head as I am coaching. Unfortunately parents can sometimes take their children’s teams more seriously than their own children, and because of this they are not afraid to speak their minds because they claim they are “advocating” for their child. Because of this behavior it is my child who faces the consequences.
1. My child is the first to sit the bench. As a coach I am terrified of being accused of giving my child more playing time than any other child, and because of that, no matter what his skill level, if we need a kid to sit out, he is always first choice. And the worst part is, he is too young to understand why.
2. I coach my child honestly. Meaning, I hold nothing back. If my kid did something wrong, he will hear about it. I don’t put up any facades. When I am coaching your child I will always try to be patient. I will smile through gritted teeth as I am explaining something to them for the 100th time. I will be calm. Most likely I will not be with mine. With my child I will tell it to him like it is, not because he deserves it, but because at some point everybody’s patience does run out. I don’t care who you are.
3. My child plays the position no one wants to play. Refer to number one. Same reasons apply. We would never want to be accused of favoritism, so because of that, if someone has to play outfield for the third time this game, my child will be volunteered whether they like it or not.
4. I have to hold back my excitement for my child. For example, Brody has been scared to death to play first base. I forced him to play it yesterday. I knew he could do it, and I knew he needed the confidence to do so. Well guess what? He did AWESOME! He got two outs at first base the inning he played. Do you know how badly I wanted to shout my heart out for him? I wanted to run across the field and give him the biggest hug. But I can’t. Because once again, heaven forbid we be accused of favoritism. Do you know what else, though? If that was your child at first base who was struggling in the same way, as his coach, I absolutely would have run across the field and made a scene to show him how proud I was of him, because they deserve that!
5. The coach’s kid is always the first one there and last one to leave. They are the ones stuck cleaning up with their parent after the rest of the team leaves. They are grabbing equipment that has been left behind. They have to wait while other parents talk to the coach about their kids performance, when all they want to do is get home!
6. They hear the criticism that the parents and teammates say about their parent. They have to defend their parent.
For all of the downside to being a coach’s kid, their are so many upsides as well, and I think that is why, we as parents, choose to VOLUNTEER (ahem, yes volunteer.)
1. Their parent is at EVERY game. This alone is priceless to a kid.
2. They usually are one of the better players on the team…and do you know why? Because most likely that parent has been working with their child on their own time, something you could do as well.
3. They learn to take criticism better than anyone.
4. They don’t expect a trophy, they know they have to earn it, due to all of the reasons above.
5. They never have to worry about finding a ride to the game…that is one close to my heart, being the youngest of four this was a constant in my childhood.
6. They get to spend extra time with their parent. Granted they have to share them with other kids, but that time is still so important.
I completely understand that being a coach to my kid is an awesome privilege that my hours thankfully allow me to do. I totally get it. I just hope the next time you think about “talking” to the coach about your child’s playing time, or playing favorites, please give this blog a read. I am just saying it- you are being too sensitive as a parent. Your kid is not being singled out. He is not a victim. This volunteer coach is trying his hardest to please everyone. So please, try to help them…and if by helping them means keeping your opinions to yourself, coaches around the world thank you!
