« The Great Outdoors

You're a real bass fisherman if you......

by Randy Allen

1) You have a power worm dangling from your rear view mirror because you think it makes a good air freshener.
2) Your wedding party had to tie tin cans to the back of your bass boat.
3) You call your boat "sweetheart" and your wife "skeeter".
4) Your local tackle shop has your credit card number on file.
5) You keep a flippin stick by your favorite chair to change the TV channels with.
6) You name your black lab "Mercury" and your cat "Evinrude".
7) Bass Pro Shop has a private line just for you.
8) You have your name painted on a parking space at the launch ramp.
9) You have a photo of your 10 lb. bass on your desk at work instead of your family.
10) You consider viennies and crackers a complete meal.
11) You think MEGABYTES means a great day fishing.
12) You send your kid off to the first day of school with his shoes tied in a palomar knot.
13) You think there are four seasons--Pre-spawn, Spawn, Post Spawn and Hunting.
14) Your $30,000 bass boat's trailer needs new tires so you just "borrow" the ones off your house.
15) You trade your wife's van for a smaller vehicle so your bass boat will fit in the garage.
16) Your kids know it's Saturday---Because the boats gone,