I summed up a very compelling and long article that was written by a panel of relationship psychologists. According to them the top 3 mistakes made by both genders are as follows:
Top 3 Mistakes Men and Women Make in Relationships
3) Partner Bashing – Ripping on and/or negatively talking about your partner behind their back. If you find yourself negatively talking about or venting about your significant other on a regular basis you may have to question your relationship or yourself. It is common for friends to get together and start spitting out everything that bugs them about their significant other, however what you should know is that this reflects very poorly on you and makes you look bad, because you chose this person! More often then not…you should talk positively about your partner, ESPECIALLY if they are not around.
2) Arguing to Win – This is the 2nd most common mistake made in relationships. When most couples argue, they are both trying to WIN the argument as opposed to truly understanding both sides and coming to the most reasonable resolution. You fall into the mental trap of trying to convince your partner why you are right and why they are wrong and why they should “Think” like you on the matter. Unfortunately, both sides usually do this and it leads to an even bigger argument that can lead to the whole situation getting way worse. Best thing to do…be open minded to their argument, rationally express yours and then compromise if possible. If not then AGREE to DISAGREE. If it’s something that must get resolved, then flip a coin for it or make some non-serious funny little game of it, which is always better than sleeping on the couch and not talking for 2 days.
1) Complacency – This is the number one mistake both genders most commonly make. This is just laziness and taking the other for granted. To avoid this try and Remember when you first met and did cute little things for one another on random days to express your love. When there is Complacency in a relationship, cute little texts, voicemails, gifts, and other sweet gestures for no reason become few and far between. Remember when you complimented them all the time in the beginning? Well the frequencies of compliments usually go down after a relationship matures, but Why? When you first met and your significant other came over you might have jumped up off the couch and put your arms around your partner and said, “I missed you today!”. After the relationship matures, I guarantee you stay on the couch and look up for a second and say “Hey”. The sporatic gifts diminish, the I love you’s are less frequent, the I miss you’s are less frequent and the entire aura of the way things were in the beginning keeps getting weaker once 2 people have fallen into a COMFORT ZONE with one another. It’s easy to not fall into this, just remind yourself of how it was in the beginning and keep that attitude going. When you think about your partner let them know, when you see something they might like and appreciate, get it for them if its not too much, kiss them more often, encourage and compliment them more often. It’s easy to keep the flame going if you put just a little bit of effort towards it, which in turn will make your relationship stronger and more powerful in the long run!