Rest easy, Wisconsin: The Milwaukee Brewers' missing Italian racing sausage, Guido the sausage, has been found. After a local businesswoman offered up a case of mustard in exchange for the sausage's safe return, two men brought the sausage into TJ Ryan's bar in Cedarburg, Wisconsin — one of the sausage's last known locations during the bender that preceded its disappearance — dropped it off, told the bartender, "You didn't see this," and ran away.... Just before midnight on Wednesday a reporter received an email from the people claiming to be responsible. As proof, they offered a video of Guido the Italian sausage doing the Harlem Shake.
The would-be wiener bandits described how they attached a note to the sausage when they returned it. The note reads: "Sorry I'm such a sauced weenie. You probably think I'm the wurst. I started feeling the heat as the police began to ketchup by connecting the links. I know it was a greasy move so here I am. Donate the mustard and drink the beer."
The sausage thieves agreed to answer questions on the condition of anonymity. Six residents of Cedarburg and nearby Mequon, Wisconsin ranging in age from 26 to 55 — five women and one man — collaborated on the heist. Feeling "over-served and underappreciated," the Brewers fans left a fundraiser at the new Cedarburg location of Milwaukee's Curling Club with the sausage costume for a night out on the town on February 16. Fueled by two bottles of wine, the instigator said she "put it on, stood by the door, and ducked out. Then ran full speed to the car."