It will officially be February 1st tomorrow, which to me means we have an end in sight.  It means we are 26 days away from the due date.  It means I will officially be full term in 4 days.  It means I could go at any time.  And for someone who is a bit of a control freak when it comes to plans, this is killing me.  I had always been for going naturally, but seriously, if I can get this kid here any earlier, I would love it.  The whole being pregnant part isn't awful...it is the not knowing.  It is the anxiety.

This part of my blog may be too much information for men, but hey you came here to read it :) It kind of reminds me of when we were trying to get pregnant.  I am having the same feelings and thoughts again...Every time my body doesn't feel "normal" I am convinced I am going into labor.  Just like every time my body didn't feel right, I was convinced I was pregnant.  The constant going to bathroom to see if you are getting your period is now replaced with going to the bathroom because it feels like your water might break.  The part that is so frustrating is that I don't know how my body is supposed to feel right now.  People can explain it to you over and over, but everyone has explained it differently to me.  You hear horror stories of people who never feel a contraction until their water breaks and barely make it to the hospital in time, and aren't able to get an epidural.  You hear the stories of the women who swear they are in labor, go to the hospital, only to get sent home.  People keep saying that when you go into labor Katie, you will know.  Really, so what you are telling me is that these women who were sent home can't tell?  We have a 30 minute drive from our house to the hospital, so getting sent home at 3 in the morning because I wasn't able to tell if I was in labor, is just not gonna fly with my husband, and I can't blame him.

So back to the whole induction.  Now I get it.  If someone could tell me ok Katie, we promise you your child will be out by such a date, it would take a little of the pressure off.  It would get rid of some of the anxiety.  I would feel like I was gaining back a little bit of control.  I know, I know, my life is going to change majorly once this kid is in our lives, and to cherish these last few weeks of just Michael and I, but at the same time I am thinking this is one of the last times for a couple of years that I may have control of my own schedule.  We see the doctor tomorrow, so hopefully she will have some good news for us :)