Today I am officially 37 weeks!  We made it!  I am full term!

After hitting this milestone in the pregnancy I have compiled a list of things that I will no longer say to women who are just as far along at this point, if not further.  I recommend you do the same.

1. The kid will come out when it is good and ready...Really?  Duh.  It doesn't mean I don't want it out of me!

2. Don't wish your baby to come early, it needs to keep "cooking."- you know what, don't make me feel like a bad mother because I would be more than ecstatic to be finished being pregnant today..at this moment actually.  I can literally taste that first glass of wine.  So close, yet so far.  Obviously if I have a choice of healthy baby or being pregnant for two weeks less, I will choose a healthy child.  Don't judge me.

3. Make sure you call me when you go into labor.  I admit it, I am guilty of asking people this.  But really, lets put things into perspective.  My water just broke and I am hunched over in pain from contractions.  My first thought is going to be get me my husband, not who should I call first on my list?  Or it is three in the morning, I am having contractions and we aren't 100% sure this is it.  Nope, I am not going to make that phone call only to be sent home because it was a false alarm.  We may call people, we may not, but when Baby Schurk is here, trust me- we will let the world know.

4. How are you feeling?  Let me put in a disclaimer here.  Don't ask if you truly don't want to know.  I feel like crap.  I am not sleeping.  I am anxious wondering when this is going to happen.  I will most likely lie to you anyway and tell you I feel great.  And if you catch me at the wrong moment, I will be honest, and you won't want to hear it.

5. Get your sleep while you can.  Ok I get it.  I get when the kid gets here my sleeping habits will be even worse, but you know what, I am not sleeping now as it is.  And what, because I am taking naps now, it is going to make up for it when the baby is here?  Pretty sure it won't.  Pretty sure I will be just as tired.

6. Enjoy this time, just you and your husband.  It's kind of like the whole sleep thing.  I know I am going to go stir crazy.  I know I am going to crave private time with my husband.  Those are the days we hire a babysitter.  I have the option of dropping our child off with plenty of Aunts and Uncles. (aunts and uncles whose children we have taken numerous times, so I will have no problem asking for the favor to be returned :))  And we have Grandma and Grandpa.  It may be hard to leave our kid, but I wll force myself to.

7. Remember this when you want number 2.  Those words were uttered by my husband last night.  Really, because you had nothing to do with this?  This wasn't a joint decision and action?

Here are the things that I would appreciate to hear in these last few weeks.

1. We are proud of you.  I didn't realize how badly women need to hear this until I was watching an episode of Snooki and JWow.  Yes, you read that correctly.  She hit the wall that every woman hit and just started to cry.  She said she was sick of just feeling like crap. She was sick of the fact that she was crying over feeling like crap. Her fiance handled it beautifully.  He told her how proud of her he was.  That she has endured this for over 9 months, and it is almost over.  Sometimes you just want to be acknowledged (especially by your husband) that yes this is hard.  You have every right to feel like this.  You are not a failure for crying.  And that you are doing something not only that he could physically never do, but would probably never choose to.

2. Want to grab lunch? I have been lucky because I have such awesome friends.  Right now I don't really do much.  I am going stir crazy.  I can only go to Target so many times in one week.  I almost dread weekends because at least at work I have interaction with people.  I have friends that have made it a point to make sure I am still social.  This weekend we have pedicures and lunch planned.  I have been counting down the days :) 

3. Cute outfit. Lie to me.  I don't care.  If I am wearing something you haven't already seen twice this week, it means I tried.  I tried to care about how I look.  And yes, to get those socks on took more effort than you would like to know. 

4. You are all baby. My doctor said this to me last week after my weekly appointment and wow, I took that comment with me.  I had been feeling so bad about my weight gain and was at the point that I felt like it was spiraling out control  I was laying on the table, she was pushing on my stomach and said woah- you are all baby up here.  It made my week...and also made me question just how big this child is going to be.

Your turn now- what are the comments you would hear from people that you had to take all of the will power you had to refrain from punching them in the throat?