Murphy's Blog Murphy's Blog

  • What You Should Know By Age 50

    Posted by Murphy

    WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW BY AGE 50

    If you're 50 or older, you should know these things.

    • It’s better to sing off key than not to sing at all.

    • Promptness shows respect.

    • You can’t avoid offending people from time to time. When you don’t mean it, apologize. When you do mean it, accept the consequences.

    • Don’t be bothered when people don’t share your tastes in music, sports, literature, food and fashion. Be glad. You’d never get tickets to anything otherwise.

    • Cough syrup doesn’t work.

    • Keeping perspective is the greatest key to happiness. From a distance, even a bumpy road looks smooth.

    • You can’t win arguing with police officers or referees, but every so often you can fight City Hall.

    • Keeping an open mind is as big a challenge as you get older as keeping a consistent waistline.

    • It’s never a shame when you admit you don’t know something, and often a shame when you assume that you do.

    • Fear of failure is a ticket to mediocrity. If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not pushing yourself. And if you’re not pushing yourself, you’re coasting.

    • If you’re in a conversation and you’re not asking questions, then it’s not a conversation, it’s a monologue.

    • In everyday life, most “talent” is simply hard work in disguise.

    • When something that costs less than $200 breaks and it’s not under warranty and you can’t fix it yourself in half an hour, it’s almost certainly more cost-effective to throw it out.

    • Mental illness is as real as diabetes, arthritis or any other disease, and no more disgraceful. It’s the stigma that’s disgraceful.

    • All the stuff you have lying around that you’ll never want, need, wear or look at again? It just makes it harder to find what you do want, need or intend to wear. File it, donate it or throw it out.

    • Exercise does not take time. Exercise creates time.

    • The store-brand jelly, cereal, paper goods, baking supplies and pharmacy products are good enough.

  • Seattle Seahawk Richard Sherman-Grade A Jerk!

    Posted by Murphy

    Some sports fans can't stand ESPN commentator Skip Bayless. And apparently one of the biggest trash-talkers in the NFL is in that group. Richard Sherman is an All-Pro defensive back for the Seattle Seahawks. And yesterday while Bayless was interviewing him, Sherman pretty much embarrassed him on national TV. Or embarrassed HIMSELF, depending on how you look at it. It all started after a question about whether Sherman is overrated. Sherman responded by telling Bayless, quote, "Whenever you address me, address me as 'All-Pro Stanford graduate' . . ."Because those are some accomplishments you will ASPIRE to, but never accomplish. You have never accomplished ANYTHING." Adding that he's, quote, "better at LIFE" than Bayless is. Then instead of firing back, Bayless tried to move on. But Sherman just talked over him, and proceeded to call him a, quote, "ignorant, pompous, egotistical cretin."  All this apparently stemmed from something Bayless had said earlier in the show, about how Sherman isn't in the, quote, "same league" as Jets All-Pro defensive back Darrelle Revis. It's also funny to see how uncomfortable Stephen A. Smith gets while sitting there listening to it.  It seems to be Sherman that comes off like a major jerk on this one.

  • A Hockey Player Took a Slap Shot Directly to the Eye

    Posted by Murphy

    In case you missed it, Marc Staalof the New York Rangers took a slap shot to the EYE in a hockey game against the Flyers on Tuesday night. First it deflected off someone's stick . . . which didn't slow it down much. Then it hit him directly in the right eye. He went down immediately, and started flailing around on the ice . . . which is understandable when you see the video. According to the team, he's out indefinitely. But his doctors are optimistic that he'll make a full recovery. (--It's also reignited the debate over whether hockey players should be REQUIRED to have facemasks on their helmets.)

     

  • Watch This Guy Cartwheel Off A Snow Covered Roof

    Posted by Murphy

    The East Coast is dealing with a ton of snow right now. But anytime you have to clear snow off the roof of your house, here's what NOT to do. There's a video online of some guy . . . we're not sure where, maybe in Russia . . . standing on a ladder, trying to shovel about two feet of snow off the roof of a cabin. But he ends up triggering a mini-avalanche, all the snow comes down at once and knocks the ladder over, and he cartwheels in the air.  But somehow he lands on his FEET, totally fine.

  • Unsuspecting People Walk in On a Fake Murder in Progress

    Posted by Murphy

    Colin Farrell's new crime thriller "Dead Man Down"opens this Friday.  And to promote it, an ad agency in New York pranked a bunch of people . . . by staging a fake MURDER in an elevator, and letting them walk in on it. When the elevator doors opened, they saw a guy STRANGLING another guy with a rope, and a lot of them just screamed and ran away.  But a surprising number actually tried to stop it. And one guy just stood there taking pictures with his cell phone.

  • A College Baseball Player Tried to Score from Third on a Wild Pitch . . . and Got Tackled

    Posted by Murphy

    A College Baseball Player Tried to Score from Third on a Wild Pitch . . . and Got Tackled by the Pitcher.

    A batter charging the mound in baseball is somewhat common.  But you don't see THIS very often. A pitcher for the division-three baseball team at Berry College in Georgia is a hit online right now.  Because on Sunday, he tried to prevent a runner from scoring on a wild pitch . . . by TACKLING HIM. And it wasn't an accident.  He ran straight at him and lowered his shoulder.

     

  • The Craziest Buzzer Beater You Will Ever See

    Posted by Murphy

    In New York state high school basketball, New Rochelle was trailing by 10 with three minutes to go and mounted a strong comeback capped off by one of the most insane sequences in recent memory. With 2.9 seconds left in the Section 1 Class AA championship game, Mt. Vernon was leading New Rochelle 60-58. New Rochelle had possession and was inbounding for a final second heave. They throw it to half-court where it is stolen by Mt. Vernon. If you've ever thought just throwing the ball up in the air and letting time expire was a good idea, just watch. Mt. Vernon tries to do it with a half-toss and New Rochelle gets the ball back and splashes a half court shot with .1 second left.

  • MILWAUKEE BREWERS' SAUSAGE THIEVES REVEAL HEIST DETAILS

    Posted by Murphy

    Rest easy, Wisconsin: The Milwaukee Brewers' missing Italian racing sausage,
    Guido the sausage, has been found. After a local businesswoman offered up a case
    of mustard in exchange for the sausage's safe return, two men brought the
    sausage into TJ Ryan's bar in Cedarburg, Wisconsin — one of the sausage's last
    known locations during the bender that preceded its disappearance — dropped it
    off, told the bartender, "You didn't see this," and ran away.... Just before midnight            on Wednesday a reporter received an email from the people claiming to be responsible.  As proof, they offered a video of Guido the Italian sausage doing the Harlem Shake.

    The would-be wiener bandits described how they attached a note to the sausage when
    they returned it. The note reads: "Sorry I'm such a sauced weenie. You probably
    think I'm the wurst. I started feeling the heat as the police began to ketchup
    by connecting the links. I know it was a greasy move so here I am. Donate the
    mustard and drink the beer."   

    The sausage thieves agreed to answer questions on the condition of anonymity. Six residents of Cedarburg and nearby Mequon, Wisconsin ranging in age from 26 to 55 — five women and one man — collaborated on the heist. Feeling "over-served and underappreciated," the Brewers fans left a fundraiser at the new Cedarburg location of Milwaukee's Curling Club with the sausage costume for a night out on the town on February 16. Fueled by two bottles of wine, the instigator said she "put it on, stood by
    the door, and ducked out. Then ran full speed to the car."

  • Harry Styles from One Direction Took a Direct Shot to the Boys and it Hurt!

    Posted by Murphy

    Harry Styles from One Direction got hit in the crotch by a shoe while he was on stage the other night . . . and he went down hard.  Apparently it was an accident.  A 14-year-old girl has come forward and apologized for it.  (--She says she didn't mean to hurt him . . . she just wanted something of hers to touch Harry.  She got thrown out of the show temporarily.  But the band brought her back in . . . and they gave her shoes back too.  Homer Simpson loved it!

     

     

     

  • A Hockey Coach Gets 15 Days in Jail For Tripping and Injuring a 13-Year-Old Player

    Posted by Murphy

    Back in July, 48-year-old Martin Tremblay was coaching youth hockey in Vancouver, British Columbia.  We don't know how he was at teaching hockey fundamentals . . . but we DO know he was USELESS in teaching sportsmanship. Because, after a game where his team lost, as the teams were doing a traditional postgame handshake line, Martin TRIPPED a 13-year-old kid. The kid fell on the ice, and FRACTURED HIS WRISTS breaking his fall. Martin was arrested for assault.  His wife ended up leaving him and his construction business fell apart because people stopped wanting to hire him. And this week, he was sentenced to 15 days in jail . . . which actually seems fairly minor compared to losing his wife, losing his job, and being forever known as the guy who tripped a kid after a pee-wee hockey game.