Posted by Tommy Fox
Have you ever met a guy and started getting to know him and you find out that you really like him a lot. He's cute, he seems to say all the right things, he doesn't call too much but when he does its the right time. He treats you like a queen, he is happy to be with you, he makes you laugh and treats you with respect at all times.... and you honestly feel like you have finally found a great guy! BUT THEN.........as the relationship goes on he slowly transforms into this different guy. He doesn't do the romantic things as often, he seems to kinda get irritated with you more often, he sometimes puts his friends ahead of you, he plays video games more often, he doesn't seem to be as spontaneous and exciting as he once was, he more easily tries to control what the 2 of you do, if you won't have sex with him he gets subtly cranky, and overall he just gets comfortable with the relationship and doesn't put forth as much effort once he has actually "gotten" the girl (you)! Then...once this happens, you start to very slowly grow farther away from him to the point that 6 months, a year, or two years down the road you find yourself thinking..."I don't think he is the right guy for me"....then, as these male complacency issues grow larger because every time you even try to gently criticize him and communicate how you feel, he is more worried about getting defensive and "justifying" how your wrong as opposed to honestly CARING about exactly what your going through?!!! Well......most men in the world fall guilty to this, some of them don't even realize it until its too late....they are the ones that are begging you back after you dump them and they tell you they "realized" how they messed up and even if you take them back, things are only better for a short time before he goes back to the old ways! I would say that "most" men make these mistakes! Even the good guys that are out there can fall into these habits!.....I wish none of you would ever have to put up with it. I Wanted to get that off my chest, thanks for reading!
Posted by Tommy Fox
OK, so I got this message from a gorgeous girl that seems to be a fun-loving normal college woman! THIS IS WHAT SHE WROTE ME AND WHAT I WROTE BACK, so basically you are just peeking into my inbox and I wanted to share it, it might take a few to read but I am hoping it is worth it ;)
So...I just read your blogs. I admire the respect you have for women and agree/relate to the points you made. But I want to bring up an issue about guys that I've been encountering lately...
I don't mean this to sound conceited in any way, but lately I've been in situations around guys where they seem like they could be interested in me but they take no action toward it. For instance, there was this one guy that I would walk by every day when I got out of class, we'd notice eachother, and keep walking. It kinda got to the point where we grinned at each other, but neither one of us ever said anything, but there was that flirtacious tension, ya know. Thats just one of the many situations. I know a lot of guys think its nice for a girl to approach them, but call me old-fashioned, or just shy, but I want the guy to approach me. Even when guys do approach me that I'm not interested in, I'm nice as long as they aren't a complete ass.
Any thought on this?
Any thoughts?!! HELL YES!! I could talk about this stuff for hours!! ok let me start by saying the guys you are talking about are "intimidated" by you because of how gorgeous you are...it happens all the time..I can completely understand why this happens, because a long time ago in a galaxy far far away it used to happen to me. I will try and explain this the best I can...When a guy sees an extremely beautiful woman, he is thrown into an altered state of mind...here is an example...lets say that joe shmoe is hanging out by the pool at his apartment complex soaking up the sun, and he sees a gorgeous woman walk by and smile at him in a very casual but flirtatious way...that guy often times is thinking to himself..."Gosh, she is soooo gorgeous, and even the way she smiled was super hot, gosh should I go up to her and say something, or should I just play it cool, I better play it cool, I don't want to seem like a desperate idiot"....then he just sits there and does nothing....while doing nothing, he just psyches himself out even more by thinking, "Wow, she must have every brad pitt and mathew McCoughnahey in town going after her, and she probably gets hit on so much that she is sick of it, WELL I sure as hell am not gonna be one of those idiots!"...then he follows this by realizing every flaw HE has himself..LOL...Guys are such funny creatures but none of them would admit to this ever so true thought process that I am typing to you........so....after he has made himself extremely insecure by realizing every reason she wouldn't want him because he is worried he doesn't "match up" to your beauty, he then is even more hesitant but still INTERESTED and attentive to the situation.....THE FUNNIEST PART is that most guys don't think outside the box!!..... Maybe she is crazy, maybe she is somewhat insecure about her own looks, maybe she is bi-polar, maybe she is interested in things I am not, maybe she is stuck up, maybe she is a dork, maybe she has some superannoying habit, etc........guys don't think about this, because guys are visual/physical creatures....so they get intimidated by beauty....gosh, I sure am typing a lot, I hope you enjoy it, lol...................................ok....now...obviously not all guys are like the ones I have explained, there are the other guys who have NO FEAR when approaching women.....and they are worse, a lot of them....these are the guys that have testosterone poisoning and far too much alpha male in them....they hide their insecurities by being overly confident....these are the guys that created the reason girls put up that initial brick wall towards most vulturistic men that fit into this category, most of these guys are hot or at least think they are and some are well trained players that actually know how to talk their way in...then when hottie boy screws the girl over she wants to swear off men when in actuality she was just breaking the cardinal rule of DONT GO AFTER THE SUPER HOT GUYS because 99% of the time they are nothing but trouble....and I can go into them and their whole deal later but I feel like I am writing a novel, lol....
Lets get back to this guy you see at school. Its real simple, he is obviously noticing you but doesn't want to do anything about it because he doesn't want to be, "THAT GUY" ... so he leaves it alone but is hoping you do something...and thats because he is not realizing the subtle signals you might have given as invitation...guys are so dumb at picking up a girls signals!! THE GUYS JOB IS TO APPROACH!! there is nothing old fashioned about it, it is human nature. When I was 21, I would see a beautiful girl that would "seem" nice and I would say to myself "OK, I WILL DATE HER THEN, SHE IS PERFECT" then providing I did end up dating her, I would actually get to know her then, and her flaws and her thoughts and personality and often times a long time later I would find out that I dated the wrong woman because I didn't find out WHO SHE WAS first! Big mistake, I could have saved myself a lot of trouble a few years back had I had a better screening process. Its cool now though, I have learned a lot, and I can say that I know exactly what I need and want, and know how to look past beauty to find out if its there or not....but don't get me wrong, I'm one of the biggest fans of feminine beauty, I just look past it more now....most guys don't, and in some way or another it either psyches them out or causes them to go after the wrong girl for them because they are horny! The same can go for ladies.
Tommy Fox101 WIXX