Deep Thoughts with Jake Kelly x959 blog Deep Thoughts with Jake Kelly

  • Want to hear what 50 shades of grey Anastasia's Steele's Voice sounds like?

    Posted by Jake Kelly






    It takes a special, sultry someone to read aloud E.L. James' 50 Shades of Grey. With all those "holy crap's!" and "Later, baby's," Anastasia's Steele's inner goddess requires a very specific kind of reading. (Hence the trending Twitter topic, #best/worst50ShadesAudioBookNarrator. For example, Stephen Hawking and Betty White.)

    Introducing Becca Battoe, the actual voice getting you off depending on what you're into in the50 Shades of Grey audiobook. 

    She sounds 10!



  • Shallow Reasons for a break-up! What's yours?

    Posted by Jake Kelly



    I get a lot of emails though out the week, I mean a lot!  My interns will read through them, organize them and then place the emails into specific categories on the computer.  I was reading though some the other day and came across a category titled "Shallow." I started reading though them and they were basically all the same subject... For example "My boyfriend broke up with me because "blank."  "Do you think I have a reason to be mad?" 

    There were a ton of emails like this and wated to give otu the top ten best shallow reasons for a break-up. 

    Feel free to add your thoughts/shallow break-ups/opinions below in the comment section.  

    1. Lack of fashion sense

    2. gave hugs too much

    3. bad breath

    4. skid-mark

    5. got fat

    6. Noisy eater

    7. bad teeth

    8. walks funny

    9. wears white socks with black pants

    10. A zit on the neck



    Every break-up for a shallow reason?  what was it? 

  • Derek McGlone, Teacher, Tries To Get Out Of Work By Lying That He Ran Over And Killed A Girl With Hi

    Posted by Jake Kelly



    There's faking sick, and then there's telling your employers that you just killed a small child.

    42-year-old teacher Derke mcGlone was well known at Calderhead High School in Scotland for making up stories to get out of work, the Telegraph reports. At an August 1 hearing of the Genral teaching Coucil Scotland, McGlone admitted to lying on a number of occasions between June 2008 and May 2011.

    In his most egregious fabrication, the music teacher told school officials that he had just run over a little girl with his car, according to UPI.

    "He said he felt his car wheels running over her body," Calderhead High School head Joyce Kilmartin wrote in an official statement.

    "I can give no reasonable explanation for my actions," he told the Council, adding that he was "embarrassed and sorry."

    The hearing panel concluded that McGlone's behavior "falls short the standards expected of a registered teacher." He received a reprimand that will remain on his record for 12 months.

    The GTCS is an independent professional body with duties that include maintaining educational standards and keeping a registry of teachers in Scotland.

  • Timothy Paez Allegedly Peed On Woman's Leg After She Rejected Him

    Posted by Jake Kelly



    Someday, they'll tell their grandkids about this. Or not.

    The Daily Camera reports that Timothy Paez is accused of peeing on a woman in Colorado after she rejected his advances.

    A police report obtained by the Camerasaid Paez came up and put his arm around a woman at a bar in Longmont on Saturday night.

    The woman turned around and said, "Um, really?," at which point Paez backed off, according to the report.

    But Paez hadn't used up all of his smooth moves. At first, the woman thought the rejected Romeo was spilling his beer on her, but when she turned around, she discovered Paez was urinating on her leg, the report said.

    The Denver Channel reports that police who questioned Paez found most of his answers were "unintelligible" because he was so intoxicated.

    Paez was arrested on suspicion of harassment and public indecency. according to the Boulder County Sheriff's Office.


  • Michael Phelps party with his gold!

    Posted by Jake Kelly

    Olympics News, Photos & More! 


    (TMZ) - Michael Phelps took three of his closest friends out clubbing in London this weekend - gold medal, gold medal and gold medal. 

    Just hours after swimming the last race of his career, Phelps - the greatest Olympian in the history of the Olympics - hit the party scene in Soho... along with 3 of his 18 gold medals  -and a mystery blonde. 

    Phelps and his medals partied responsibly... after they partied themselves out, they all piled into the backseat of a waiting SUV and got a ride home. 

    Go USA.





  • Selena Gomez: Marriage can wait!

    Posted by Jake Kelly



    (Yahoo!) - Just like her uber-famous boyfriend Justin BieberSelena Gomez is ready to be thought of as more than just a squeaky-clean tween star. As the 20-year-old reveals in the new issue of Teen Vogue, she's itching to expand her resume beyond movies, shows, and albums aimed at kids. "It's frustrating whenever I want the roles that no one's even thinking about me for, and being like, 'No,' with all these other ones," she tells the magazine. "Being part of the Disney Channel was such a blessing, and I'm super happy with what ['Wizards of Waverly Place'] accomplished, but acting is something I would like to take on more seriously." Gomez's credits include projects like 2010's family-friendly "Ramona and Beezus," and guest roles on shows such as Miley Cyrus' "Hannah Montana," beginning with work on the kiddie program "Barney & Friends" when she was 7. However, Gomez admits that she still has a lot to do in Hollywood. "I don't necessarily feel accomplished. I want to create a whole different persona when it comes to acting."

    Selena Gomez's full interview with Teen Vogue

  • Want to know the what the equivalent is to a toddlers energy?

    Posted by Jake Kelly




    For all the mothers who maintain that looking after a toddler can seem like the most exhausting activity in the world, you are not wrong.

    But according to a new study, it is the toddlers who should be complaining of exhaustion. 

    Research shows that their daily antics can use up the equivalent adult energy of 83 rounds in a boxing ring.

  • Facebook Fan Friday!

    Posted by Jake Kelly