Deep Thoughts with Jake Kelly x959 blog Deep Thoughts with Jake Kelly

  • You wont believe how this 29 year old women makes a ton of money!!!!

    Posted by Jake Kelly

    What an idea!!!  This University of Rochester Graduate Jackie Samuels loves to cuddle,..... strangers!

     

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    For a mere $60 an hour, you can snuggle with the 29 year-old at The Snuggery, a little place where you can get away, stretch out, and spoon with somebody you don't know. According to Samuel, there are over 100 different cuddle position, though she always tends to start out in the generic “spooning position”, with Jackie taking the role of the smaller spoon. Where it goes from there is totally up to the individual, as long as things don’t get weird.

     

     

  • Research is done! Wanna know what the all time worst rap song is??? You wont ever guess!

    Posted by Jake Kelly

    The Black Eyed Peas top of the charts. Just maybe not the type of chart they’d hoped for.

     

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    According to Fuse, when dance music festival Global Gathering asked voters to pick the dance song they thought had “the most ridiculous” lyrics, the four-piece group topped the poll  for their multi-platinum selling 2006 single "My Humps”

     

    The classic lyrics “My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps” were voted the most ridiculous.

    The Peas beat off stiff competition from Nicki Minaj’s inspired verse “jump in my hooptie hooptie hoop I own that” (which is actually amazing) which came in fifth place, as well as Taio Cruz’s frankly shit “your ass from the side looks just like a coke bottle”.

     

    What song has the worst lyrics to you?

    Sound off below!

  • REALLY? Women, do you do this? Top 10 guilty plesures

    Posted by Jake Kelly

    Womens top 10 guilty pleasures! 

     

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    Can you realate to any of these?  

    Can you add to the list? 

    If so, comment below! 

     


    #10.  Fantasy novels-Fantasy novels allow our wishes and desires to come true in reading.  Although, we may not meet our dream man in reality, in a fantasy novel we always will.

    #9.  Cleanliness-   Most women enjoy the smell and feel of freshly washed clothes and sheets.  Personally, I must change my bed sheets 2 times a week.

    #8.  Buying flowers for ourselves-Personally I have never been a culprit of this action, but many women do this.  First, the appearance of flowers are nice and liven up a room.  Second, you never know when your girlfriend will stop by and ask who bought you the flowers.

    #7.  Dancing-I do not know one woman that does not like dancing!Even if she is the most horrible dancer, she will still enjoy dancing to 80's one hit wonders.

    #6.  Manicures and Pedicures-The most masculine woman even enjoys this, I feel it is safe to say. It allows us to take time off from hectic lives to pamper ourselves.

    #5.  Chick Flicks-We are a sucker for romance.  This relates back to #10, we enjoy seeing our fantasies played out even if its not real. Its nice to see a movie where a woman changes her man into her prince charming, while in reality we see that there is no way of getting our significant others to commit to anything if there is a sports game on.  It's nice to wish.

    #4.  Facebook-It enables women to catch up on gossip, look at embarrassing pictures of friends, ex-friends, or better yet ex-boyfriends.

    #3.  Pointless media-This includes pointless reality T.V., soap operas, and celebrity gossip columns and magazines.  I know it will not increase my I.Q. level, but watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians is pure comedy and relaxation.

    #2.  Shopping-Come on guys...you knew about this one.  We are suckers for a day of shopping.  Shoes, clothes, beauty products, jewelry, furniture, etc.  If it's sold we have money to spend.

    #1.  Junk food-Most women watch their figures and exercise to stay in shape.  It just takes one craving, one jerk who stood you up, or just being bored for us to indulge in junk food.  All junk food tastes the best when we aren't supposed to have it.

     

    Add yours below!

  • Read this! AMAZING PET OWNER, you wont believe what this guy does for his dog every night!

    Posted by Jake Kelly

    This 19 year old Shep being cradled in his father's arms last night in Lake Superior. Shep falls asleep every night when he is carried into the lake. The buoyancy of the water soothes his arthritic bones. Lake Superior is very warm right 

    now, so the temp of the water is perfect.
    I was so happy I got to capture this moment for John. By the way, John rescued Shep as an 8 month old puppy, and he's been by his side through many adventures :).

     

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  • Best Roommate ever! Craigslist posting ((EDITED VERSION))

    Posted by Jake Kelly

    This is old I know, but if you havn't read this before I want to know if you would room with this guy.  I WOULD!  He sounds amazing!

     

    Edited version 

     

    Best. Roommate. Ever.


    Date: 2011-08-16, 10:06AM PDT


     

    Konichiwa bi**ches. Are you looking for the most kick-a** f**king roommate that ever lived? If so, look no further. You F**king found him. I'm a 25-year-old professional marketing agent with experience at bad-ass companies in New York F**king City. That's right! What you know about experience? I graduated from Auburn University in Alabama, and moved to NYC at the ripe, tender age of 22. After deciding that New York was a stinky s**t-hole, I moved back to Alabama to cultivate more professional experience. Why? So I can make millions of dollars and not have to post crap like this on Craigslist.

    Anyway, so I landed this job with a marketing firm in San Francisco, and I have no clue where to live. Honestly, I'm moving there in 3 weeks, so I don't give a crap if I have to sleep in your bathtub. 

    A bit about me: I'm respectful, quiet, clean and I won't bother any of your crap. If you leave s**t out, I'm just like, "Oh, I better not mess with this s**t, because it's not mine." I turn off lights. I clean toilets. Eff it. I'll even cook for you. That's right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine. I'll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that s**t in bearnaise. EVERY. EFFING. NIGHT. Don't eat meat? That's f**king FANTASTIC! I'll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your f**king socks off. 

    I also read a lot. I effing LOVE books. Vonnegut, Palahniuk, Hawthorne. All that s**t. I read Tuesdays with Morrie the other day. It's a sad story, but I learned something about life, love, knowledge and the pursuit of something greater than myself.  Do you like movies? I effing love them. We can watch the s**t out of some movies together if you like, or go get drinks, or work out, hike, play video games or play a game of one-on-one basketball, or I don't have to talk to you at all. It's completely UP TO YOU! 

    Sometimes I play guitar. Are you going to love getting baked and listening to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd?  Of course you are! I'll take requests and learn any song you like, because I have the voice of an angel and the acoustical stylings of James Taylor. AWWWWWW S**T YEA!

    I own almost nothing! I'm driving my car from Alabama to California in which I'll be transporting two duffelbags of clothes, one laptop computer, one guitar, one cell-phone with charger, 8 pairs of shoes, one picture frame, probably some condoms and a s**tload of beef jerky and Pringles for the trip. Though, you can expect the jerky to be gone upon my arrival. Unless you'd like me to pick up some on my way into the city. See?! I'm the most considerate person you've ever met. I'm offering to buy you s**t already!

    Am I interested in your pad? You can bet my nomadic a** I am! I only require 4 walls, a ceiling and a floor to shelter me from the elements. Other than that, anything else will be considered a convenient plus. I'm taking being a roommate to the next level. Email me! I'll hook yo a** up with Facebook links, background checks, credit reports, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, sexual history, pictures of karate trophies and a list of the top 10 women I'd like to bang before I die. If you want a next-generation roommate who consistently blows your f**king mind with awesomeness, then hit me up. I'm ready to give you money.



    • cats are OK - purrr
    • dogs are OK - wooof
    • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

    PostingID: 2549849730

  • Henrik Rummel U.S. Rowers Viral Picture!

    Posted by Jake Kelly

     

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    Henrik Rummel is a U.S. rower who appeared to overly excited while receiving his bronze medal Monday.

    He claims that was nothing was out of the ordinary and everything was normal.

    Rummel said, "I would've never thought I'd become more famous for wearing spandex than for winning an Olympic medal! But if I did have one, you can bet I would've tried harder to cover it up with the flowers. Those spandex are pretty tight fitting and whatever position it happens to be captured in, it's staying that way."




  • This jingle is soooooo Stuck in my head!!!

    Posted by Jake Kelly

    The song in this Target commercial is soooo stuck in my head.  For 5 days I've been singing it.  I hope it gets stuck in yours! 

     

     

     

    Besides this one now, what is something that is stuck in your head?  Comment below